By far the most coherent and helpful thing I’ve read lately on the need to “be with” a child in an emotional moment. There is no contradiction between connecting with a child in an emotional meltdown of any sort, and maintaining boundaries which model, teach, and practice good discipline. Excellent article.
Crying. Screaming. Whining. Moping. Melting down. Pestering. Throwing a tantrum. Pitching a fit. We have many ways to describe a child’s emotional sorrows: the anger, desire, frustration, fury, sadness, and loneliness experienced by the young children in our lives. As parents and providers, we are not-so-subtly pressured to get these moments under control. The sideways glances while we are out in public, or the raised eyebrows of judgment imploring a tighter reign over our reckless and disrespectful lot. And then there is the more powerful internal drive to fix. We often hold the power to bandage the woes – the desired cookie, the delayed bedtime, the ability to walk instead of ride. Yet what do children experience when we fix? And is the fix always truly a fix?
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