“Often, couples enter counseling when marriages are on the brink…” (Dr. Jeremy Frank’s article is here)
This is so true. The average period of time a couple delays before seeking help for a floundering relationship is SIX years. (!!) When I see them in my office, often the catalogue of hurts and acrimony between them is so bitter and so entrenched that there’s little that counseling can do. If the couple is willing to put their divorce plans on hold and seek therapy individually, then often the relationship can be salvaged.
This is less likely, however, if one or more of the “three A’s” are involved – abuse, addiction, or an affair. While not always guaranteed couple-killers, these particular issues are so complex, and so fraught with emotional baggage that recovery is difficult.
Don’t wait! If your relationship isn’t what you hoped it would be, or it is deteriorating in ways that are distressing, get help now. If your partner won’t accompany you, go anyway. And if one of the three A’s is happening, definitely go. Even if your relationship ends, the support and help available through a good therapist is invaluable in recovering your sense of self and equilibrium.
More reading here –
- Heavy Drinking and Divorce (healthgallery.wordpress.com)
- The Four Divorces (silverliningmediation.wordpress.com)
- Divorce for kids (educationechochamber.wordpress.com)
- Divorce more likely if only one spouse drinks (futurity.org)
- Unhappy Marriage: Should You Stay or Leave? (healthstream.typepad.com)
- Surviving an Affair in Marriage (boundariesofthesoul.com)
- Problems In Your Marriage? (coachgsblog.wordpress.com)
- Qualities of a Healthy Relationship (carefundenglish.wordpress.com)
- Things you should consider before divorce revealed (indiavision.com)
- Why Some Relationship Counseling Doesn’t Work (scott-williams.ca)